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Joke of the Day

"The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings."

"How do like really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow."

"6, that's SIX, people emailed everyone at work with the SAME information which has resulted in 48 replies and now I wanna quit my job."

"[Airport security supervillain screening] AGENT: Spell 'haha' ME: OK, 'M',-- AGENT: ur under arrest"

"I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I'm also a waitress."

"What did the first stop light say to the second stop light? Don't look I'm changing"

"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? A strongly worded reprimand from the university's board of regents, and an immediate withdrawal of your funding."

"Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin"

"Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife? At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house."

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door... My plumber sure has a strange sense of humor..."