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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife? At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house."

"I guess it's good Hillary didn't win... It would be kinda awkward for her to be sitting behind the desk that Monica was under."

"I was watching an educational TV show one time. It was so boring, but what's more fucked up is I contracted visual AIDS."

"Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying ""Tick, tick, tick, tick,...""? ""Ve haff vays of meking you tock."""

"I married a Jewish girl... It was the best career move I ever made."

"What's the worst part about Tupac's new sitcom? The Holocaust. (pun, hologram deal)"

"I got fired from my job because I smile too much! I said, ""If I can't smile while I work then get yourself another funeral director!"""

"What is the difference between a banana and a bell? You can only peel (peal) the banana once."

"Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks!"

"If a buzzing insect saw the alphabet, would... a bee see?"