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Joke of the Day

"How do like really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow."

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she did get fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job."

"Why was Disney's massage parlor so successful? Everybody gets a happy ending."

"What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android? Where'd mofongo?"

"Top Gear was twelve years old... That's one of the oldest things that the BBC staff have fucked."

"I was chatting with this cute 14 y/o online She said she was an undercover police officer. How cool for someone her age!"

"I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot"

"Sometimes I feel like I've traveled back in time, and that I'm not supposed to do anything that screws up a future that I've forgotten."

"Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? ""Are you ticklish?"""

"Cannibal: Mom mom I've been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well you know what they say - you can't keep a good man down !"