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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They both got 6 months."

"Women's rights"

"Have you seen the movie Constipated? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"In the future a kid asks his grandfather a question. -Grampa? What does this tattoo mean? -Ahh, sonny, it's TIFU. Today I ff...uck."

"Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets? Felons can't buy guns"

"When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Difference between computers and woman Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy."

"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."

"Why couldn't Snape be a Herbology teacher? Because he wasn't able to keep the Lilies alive."

"Fellow Black Friday shopper: I'm so excited! What are you trying to buy? Me: oh I can't afford anything, I'm hoping to be trampled to death"