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Joke of the Day

"I told my disbelieving Egyptian friend that he was standing in a river... ...but he was in The Nile."

"What is a mushrooms favorite type of music? Hyphae"

"my girlfriends said if this gets 1000 up votes My girlfriend said if this gets 1000 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs? Because he didn't like poles."

"Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle."

"I just checked the weather for Iraq Looks like it's partly cloudy with a chance of bomb."

"What did one mushroom say to the other as he passed him on the street? Porta-hello"

"Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like ""Andrew Granola."""

"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."

"How do you put a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender first How do you get it out? Tortilla chips"