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Joke of the Day

"I only date black chicks cause I hate meeting fathers.."

"What's the worst thing you can hear when Willy Nelson is going down on you? I'm not Willy Nelson"

"What' the difference between Adolf Hitler and Lance Armstrong? Lance Armstrong can finish a race!"

"Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma? It took him forever to get her off that street corner."

"3yo: *follows me into bathroom* Me: ""Privacy, please"" 3yo: ""Oh, right"" *closes door* ""Now we have privacy, Mommy"""

"How to make microwave popcorn: 2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped. 2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE."

"People keep saying that Americans are stupid, but I disagree. Anyone that builds a city 30 feet below sea level, in a hurricane zone, and fills it with blacks is a fking genius!"

"[Russian class] Um, why did I fail this test? Teacher: You just wrote in English and added ""ski"" to the end of the words... I knowski."

"why can,t you trust a Atom Because thay make up every thing"

"Most of the lies I tell aren't even true."