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Joke of the Day
"Why did man invent the shipping cart? To teach women how to stand on their hind legs."
Next Joke
"I lost my phone when it was on vibrate I guess if I loved it so much I should have put a ring on it"
"Why did the Geometry major marry a Brit? Because she was a cute angle."
"I'm going on a seafood diet for the holidays... that is, I see food and I eat it."
"FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim"
"just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair"
"""Your generation relies too much on technology"", my grandpa said. ""No, your generation relies too much on technology"", I replied, then I unplugged his life support."
"A guy on the bus asked me if I had any Sodium Hypobromite... I said NaBrO."
"It's called ""personal grooming"" as though we might get confused and groom a total stranger."
"What do you call a math teacher that assigns graphs with holes and assymptotes on tests? Asshole."