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Joke of the Day

"just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair"

"Got EM DEEZ NUTZ"

"Make sure to pay your Exorcist on time, because otherwise... ...They'll repossess your home."

"Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed... First favourite is cake."

"I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled ""fountain of youth"" right next to him."

"I think I'd be really good at pulling hay from a horse's mouth But I may just be clutching at straws here."

"I just finished a whole stick chap stick without losing it or replacing it. In case any of you women want to know how faithful I am."

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"I bet Spider-Man's roommates always blame him for all the cobwebs in the apartment."

"What idiot called them dog tags instead of collar ID"