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Joke of the Day

"If I had a time machine and could travel to any time imaginable, I know in my heart I'd probably just set that thing to lunchtime."

"I heard this joke about a guy who gave oral sex to his sister's daughter. It was a real niece lapper."

"What is the worst city to be a cop in? Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work."

"If television has taught me anything, it's that I can totally outrun an explosion."

"Every tweet has 140 characters and if some of you learned the difference between it's and its you'd have one to spare."

"Golf and NASCAR are the only sports on television today. Looks like the opposite ends of the asshole spectrum will be happy."

"Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you? Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration."

"Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh? If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean."

"How many jews can u fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 6 million in the ashtray. .."

"Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's? They didn't speak sine language."