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Joke of the Day

"I beat a Prius today... Thank goodness I had on my running shoes."

"The expression should be ""seeing things eyes to eyes"". Otherwise you're suggesting a meeting of the minds between Cyclops"

"Mickey and Minnie Mouse are going through a divorce. Mickeys lawyer says "" you can't get a divorce because your wife is a little crazy."" To which Mickey replies ""no I said she's Fucking Goofy!"""

"""Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"""

"Why are most runners single? At best they're ASICS."

"Yeah, I'm majoring in math. Then when I graduate I'll get a job down at the math factory. Maybe even work my way up to CEO of math one day."

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnut? w' jammin it"

"There was a depressed sausage... he thought his life was THE WURST."

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!"

"The number One day,i saw a girl whose Facebook name is 70.Because of curiosity I added her.Until i have done with her and her name changed to 71, i know what her means."