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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!"

"How many times do you pass your coworker in the hall before you switch from saying ""hi"" to breakdance fighting?"

"What is the most popular ethnic snack among Programmers? NaN"

"What would happen if black widow spiders were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to the hospital."

"Dogs really like me... I think it's because I'm an asshole"

"Great job keeping shit out of my eye, eyelash that's currently in my eye."

"How many of you are household pets reading tweets while your owners nap?"

"Did you hear about Kurt Cobain's new album? He did a cover of The Wall by Pink Floyd"

"What's the most assigned elementary school essay in Chicago? ""What I want to be *IF* I grow up"""

"There has to be a line where 9/11 jokes aren't funny anymore... For me it's somewhere around the 70th floor. I'm sorry, I know that was terrible. I'll see myself out."