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Joke of the Day
"What came first the chicken or the egg? The rooster."
Next Joke
"A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat."
"How is cribbage like anal sex? In both, scoring involves pegging."
"I was redditing while on the toilet when... I almost dropped my phone..... literally scared the shit out of me"
"[JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) ""where is he?"" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*"
"How do senior citizens handle indoor skydiving? Depends"
"What do you call a dog that can walk on its hind legs all the time? A human."
"What do you call someone who did their dissertation on the atrocities of Andrew Jackson? A Hickory Dickery Doc"
"Did you know that every frog used to have at least some polish genes? In fact, they were a tad-pole."
"Let stand in microwave for 2 minutes.' Hah. Yeah, like I make microwave dinners because I'm patient."