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Joke of the Day

"Horton Hears a who? Horton Hears a what? Horton Hears a huh? Horton hears a chicka chikca chicka chicka slim shady."

"I could be a stripper if guys want to see a girl get stuck trying to take off her turtleneck followed by an on-stage panic attack."

"What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog?"

"I said this to my girlfriend today, she wasn't impressed Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm shit at poems, Now show me your tits."

"Teacher : Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first ? Pupil: I want to know how it ends !"

"INTERVIEWER: What's your greatest strength? M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: [Removes mask to reveal that he was actually the interviewer the whole time]"

"How do priests make holy water? They bless the hell out of it."

"So a muslim guy walks into a bar.. Orders a drink, quietly enjoys it and then leaves. What? Were you expecting a more explosive punch line?"

"Anyone know of an escort service that offers an affordable bj? My hatchback has been harder to stop lately."

"I interned at the Dow Jones News Fund. It had its ups and downs."