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Joke of the Day

"Anyone know of an escort service that offers an affordable bj? My hatchback has been harder to stop lately."

"I got hit by a car today, guys. Don't worry. I'm okay. It just grazed me, ripped my cargo pants pocket clean off, egg rolls everywhere."

"What's a waste of time, wrapped up and is regular near Christmas? Shitty Christmas Jokes"

"Poker? I can't even see who you're pointing at!"

"What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people? An icebreaker"

"Why do hippies wear pachouli?? So blind people can hate them to"

"fuck homosexuals... ...in the ass, only if both of the people involved agree to do it consciously and consensually"

"New information has come into my possession that reveals a significant percentage of you are full of shit."

"When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing ""train is coming, train is coming""... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line."

"did you see Iran play in the world cup? I heard they played like Shiate'"