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Joke of the Day

"I could be a stripper if guys want to see a girl get stuck trying to take off her turtleneck followed by an on-stage panic attack."

"I've compiled my bucket list. 4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits."

"What do you call a frog that's in the mood? A HORNY TOAD!"

"Ask a lawyer what 2 + 2 is... Ask a lawyer what 2+2 is he'll say 5 Ask an engineer and he'll say 4 Ask an accountant and he'll look right back at you and say ""what do you want"""

"Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift ""from all of us"" anymore."

"Hardest job in the world is being a Police sketch artist in China."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just beat the room for being black."

"The difference between a scientist and a plumber... The way you pronounce unionized."

"""I'm so hard right now"" - math"

"I hope everyone on this flight covers for me by standing and announcing ""No, I am Fartacus!"" as we deplane."