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Joke of the Day

"Why should a man never bang his best friend? He'll probably catch fleas"

"If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card ...I'd have $0.77 cents."

"I wish I were Mary from the Bible She gives birth to a child and her parents still believe she's a virgin"

"my biggest fear is ants working together to lift my house up, and bring it somewhere"

"What's the difference between Vincent van Gogh and Evander Holyfield? Are you serious? I could give you a mouthful."

"What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos !"

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going."

"Did you know cat's are impervious to most rattle snake bites? Said every dog ever."

"What did the pirate get on his report card? Seven C's"

"I am meeting my twitter crush in a few days and I have officially added ""Please let me wind up in a trunk and not a freezer"" In my prayers"