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Joke of the Day

"If I close my eyes while my 3 year old pours her cereal I can hear the relaxing sound of thousands of Cheerios raining on the floor."

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"*opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit"
"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well !!!"
"What do you call a longshoreman who only unloads sugar substitutes? A steviadore."
"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."
"The Hydrogen + ion got into a fight with the Hydrogen Oxide - ion online The H + called the OH - too basic and the OH - called the H+ to acidic."
"want to hear a honest joke? barack obama"
"What does American beer and sex on a boat have in common? They're both fucking close to water"
"Suicide is only illegal because dead people can't pay taxes."
"After wandering for 10 years in the Desert, a man finally stumbles upon a remote brothel. This was his return to syphilisation."
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