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Joke of the Day
"What sound does an octopus make? A squid word."
Next Joke
"Tried to type hustlin', iPhone corrected to hustling'. I don't need to see the casing to know that I've got the white iPhone."
"Why did hitler killed himself? He got the bill for gas"
"New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth."
"I went on a date last night with Hellen Keller. I'll never go on a blind date again."
"Bummed about the early Scotland vote results. This was pretty much our best hope for seeing Shrek on a flag."
"How do you tell if a girl is wearing no knickers By the dandruff on her shoes"
"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"
"*bursts into bank EVERYONE DOWN ON THE GROUND *everyone lies down EVERYONE CLOSE THEIR EYES *everyone closes their eyes EVERYONE NAP"
"Life hack: Never actually say the words 'Life hack' out loud."