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Joke of the Day
"What do men who receive compressed porn files do when they are alone? They unzip."
Next Joke
"I'M POOPING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PUKING MY PANTS I MEAN I'M PEEING MY PANTS I REALLY DONT WANT THESE PANTS ANYMORE."
"If I were Luke Skywalker it would have taken me about six minutes to turn R2-D2 into a bong."
"Lucky that guy in Good Will Hunting liked apples."
"Volunteer me to do something without checking with me first so I know whose mailbox to leave the dead squirrel in."
"Why does Donald Trump take women out on his yacht? Because of the implication."
"Hug? Said the bunny to the oncoming lawnmower"
"At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*"
"""You have to be pretty bad at math to use a calculator to check 3rd grade homework."" -My smartass kid to me just now."
"He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick."