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Joke of the Day

"I saw a van covered in dirt... I saw a van that was covered in dirt & someone had written ""I wish my wife was as dirty as this van"". I wrote ""she is-when you're at work!"""

"How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !"

"Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport... They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off."

"Difference between a gay guy and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your meat."

"AA MEETING Chairman: Please, introduce yourself Eminem: Hi! My name is.. C: What? E: My name is.. C: Who? E: Hi! My name is.. C: Huh?"

"[one month later] Sorry, just got your text. Do you still want to break up?"

"Malaysia Airlines passengers have recently been asked about their flight experience; 5% said they were satisfied. 10% said they were extremely satisfied and 85% said they were blown away."

"Waiter waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes ma'am they can't stand the boiling water."

"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."

"White girls really love their Pumpkin Spice. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice president!"