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Joke of the Day

"Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport... They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off."

"Totally thought I was on the phone with my mom for an hour today. Was Daniel Day Lewis the whole time. Damn he's good."

"I just checked Web MD and a heart that grows two sizes is called a cardiomegaly and the grinch is pretty fortunate to be alive."

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"The only sex a priest got on Friday... Was nun!"

"Teacher: You copies from Fred's exam paper didn't you? Pupil: How did you know? Teacher: Fred's paper says ""I don't know"" and you have put ""Me neither""!"

"Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!"

"[scrabble] BATMAN: pass SUPERMAN: again? BATMAN: can't spell anything SUPERMAN: *rubbing temples* not every word has to start with BAT"

"A roman walks in a bar... holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers please."""

"Whats long and green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger."