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Joke of the Day

"[on date] girl: ""id like to if i met mr right, how bout you? have you ever been married"" henry the eighth: ""our food sure is taking a while"""

"Microwaves should have a ""Pfft"" button."

"What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera."

"""It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?""- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate."

"Why do pigs run into trees? To shake out the alligators. I've never seen an alligator In a tree. That's because the pigs do such a good job."

"So I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should've put it on Aloha temperature."

"Where do criminal spiders hang out? The deep web"

"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."

"What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ? Fowl play !"

"My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter."