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Joke of the Day
"I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff."
Next Joke
"NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure."
"A man like me is hard to find. I trim maze hedges."
"2 drunk guys were walking on the train tracks ""hey john, this stairs are reallly long"" ""don't worry, here comes the elevator"""
"I guess it's time to face the reality that I just do not want to rock and roll all night. Nor do I wish to party eva-ree day."
"Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry these are things we actually worry about now"
"That awkward moment when u lock binoculars with your neighbor."
"""It's not you, it's meat"" - vegan break up"
"The easiest way to a man's heart? It's between the fourth and fifth ribs"
"People who won Darwin Awards... ...jumped into the gene pool when the life guards weren't looking"