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Joke of the Day

"Oh good, a gift card to Arby's. *waits for their birthday* Them: Thanks Aimee for the... *opens box* (cat hair pasted to paper & framed)"

"I went to the zoo today There was one dog it was a shih tzu"

"How do you fit 4 gays on one barstool? Flip it over!"

"Why did the plant cross the road? Cus it was being stalked!"

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fcuking livid"

"So the other night I was fucking this girl in the ass, and she said something like ""I love you?"". So I punched her in the face."

"What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray? They are just OFF-full"

"Today I went to an Indian restaurant and asked for bread They told me they had naan."

"Dear makers of Axe 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner & body wash, I have no desire to buy your crap. I'm holding out until it's also a car wax."

"I bought some green apples about a week ago I can't believe they're still not ripe"