59341

Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field!"

"Knock knock Come in Sorry "

"I refuse to vote in the US presidential elections! Mainly because I don't live there, nor am I american."

"What do Hillary Clinton and The Queen have in common?..... They're both hated by republicans"

"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"

"How do you call a dog with no legs ? You don't call it, you pick it up."

"It costs over 200,000 dollars to raise a child these days. And that's just for alcohol."

"If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist"

"Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?"

"I won a competition where you had to make as many Freudian slips as you could in sixty seconds. It was a race against the cock."