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Joke of the Day

"What did Lord Nelson say to his shipmates before they got on the ship? Get on the ship"

"q: what's green and yellow and hangs from trees? a: gorilla snot."

"Why was Han Solo dissapointed in his Blow Job from Princess Leia? It was Chewy"

"Charlie Sheen's real name is Carlos Irwin Estevez. Related: Everything you think you know is a lie."

"What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror? A narcissistick."

"I don't know how some people do it ""4 minute shower"" It takes me like 4 minutes to even get the water to be the right temperature."

"What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off."

"I go to the gym religiously. You know, once or twice a year around the holidays."

"I overcooked some pasta earlier - it got all soggy and mushy. Making the best of a bad situation, I put it in a mug and tried to down it. I soon gave up though - it was an act of *Fusilli Tea*."

"This Obama guy is the worst rapper ever."