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Joke of the Day
"Toasts are like parents... If they are black, you have nothing to eat"
Next Joke
"What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo? Well done, old Jap."
"[Tim Burton tries baseball] COACH [rubs eyes]Got it now T: Yes C: Ok. Pitch T: A dark haunted tale starring Johnny De- C: I'm gonna kill him"
"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"
"My stainless steel scissor rusted How ironic."
"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."
"Policeman: Why did you stop your car get out and yell ""coward"" at the traffic signal? Motorist: The light just turned yellow."
"Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer."
"Sorry I called you ""sexy"" and didn't really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza."
"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian."