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Joke of the Day

"my wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can't see the mailbox when she's backing up?"

"What does Pokemon Go and a policeman have in common? You gotta catch Jamal"

"What has 99 legs and one tooth? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert."

"Doctor: I have some bad news. You HAVE to stop masturbating. Man: OMG Doc, WHY? Doctor: I'm trying to examine you."

"Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his bottom."

"I was going to make some fat jokes... But i don't think they fit the situation."

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Cause Sheeran."

"I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together."

"What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !"