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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] What's ur greatest strength? ""I wear too much cologne"" No, I mean- ""A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"""

"Just found some atheist propaganda in this motel room. I opened the dresser drawer and it was empty."

"What did the 2 tampons say to each other? Nothing because they were both stuck up cunts."

"""Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""I said... Here's Ted with the weather."" ""..."" ""Ted?"" ""THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."""

"Have you heard the joke about the girl with Progeria? It got old pretty fast. (I know, it's awful)."

"What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato."

"What is the unit of power? Yes."

"What's it called when you kidnap a ghost? A Polter-Heist"

"The only thing more annoying than Libertarians are the people who complain about Libertarians"

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around""."