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Joke of the Day

"What does Pokemon Go and a policeman have in common? You gotta catch Jamal"

"As a German, this year is the first year I'm really happy... ...that I have missed the Coke X-Mas truck."

"Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important."

"what do you call a blonde that dyed her hair brunette. artificial intelligence."

"What's the difference between an Irish Funeral and an Irish Wedding? One less drunk person."

"Why did the lollipop cross the road? ... Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed."

"How can you tell a dog from a tomato? The tomato is red."

"If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would... ..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!"

"I used to have black friends until my dad sold them :("

"""Are you sexually active?"" [Flashback to that one time I sat in a chair a girl was just sitting in and it still felt warm.] ""Yes."""