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Joke of the Day

"I'm still a little pissed we didn't get to keep the tail through the evolutionary process."

"What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins !"

"Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap."

"A japanese man was shouting jokes to his airplane window. When he noticed he wasn't getting laughs he thought... hm... tough cloud"

"Why dick has a sad life? Bcoz, his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him."

"When a girl doesn't invite me up to her place after a date I just assume it's because she's a hoarder with 30 kitty cats."

"People complain about the weather and politics till the cows come home... and then they complain about how there are cows in their house."

"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker."

"I'm Cherokee and German... I can walk a trail but I can't finish a race."

"Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?"