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Joke of the Day

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks. All credit to Emo Phillips."

"Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? He wanted to taco bout his problems"

"Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was two tired"

"Why did Michael Jackson always lose in a race? Because he always came in a lil behind."

"I got a new haircut about a week ago. It's starting to grow on me."

"My little sister made a face at my mom and said ""Guess who I am?"" My mom answered ""Who?"" ""Your daughter"" courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago"

"Women: Let me over-think everything you just said, connect them to things you said years ago and pick a fight about it when you least expect"

"How much for the horse tornado? Sir, that's a carousel. I must have it."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers,some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds."

"My wife is fat. Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""