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Joke of the Day

"How much for the horse tornado? Sir, that's a carousel. I must have it."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Instead, they end up beating the room for being dark."

"This guy tried to sell me a casket. I told him, ""well, that's the *last* thing I'm gonna need."""

"I saw a police helicopter last night... ""Hey look, a flying pig""."

"Did you know that West Virginia's state sport is sex? It's a game the whole family can enjoy!"

"""You must be out yo damn mind"" = your behavior is very unorthodox and very contradictory towards my wishes"

"What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan? The Twin Towers."

"U.S. DEPT OF FORESTRY: Sir, we believe you're hunting illegally GUY IN ALL CAMO W/ ORANGE HAT: *takes off hat* USDOF: Dammit we lost him"

"Why did the donkey cross the road and cause an accident? Cause he's an ass."

"Friend: just make small talk *later, on date* Me: so...grains of sand Her: uh yea- Me: dwarves Her: are u okay- Me: bottle caps"