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Joke of the Day

"Why is it more expensive to use air pumps nowadays? Inflation"

"I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops"

"My Butt giving the day off to employees on Thanksgiving.. **PSYCHE** Probably gonna take a huge dump instead."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"Right before Abe Lincoln was shot Mary Todd Lincoln: See honey, I told you it wouldn't kill you to take me out sometime."

"My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical."

"Turning water into wine is pretty cool but turning kale and celery into $9.50 is a miracle"

"Why do women wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"

"Did you guys see the stock prices of brussel sprouts today? They really blew up...."