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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid money for a garbanzo to bean on me."

"Holy shit, FREE BANANAS at Walmart if you walk around eating them while you shop!"

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at the Wimbledon? Tennish."

"I put the ""ate"" in chocolate."

"LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine"

"We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime."

"Did you know most baking companies are family owned & operated... they're all in bread!"

"Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless. Patient: I'm not."

"What Is The National Bird Of Pakistan.. ***General Atomics MQ-1 Predator***"

"Why did the guy take his time setting up a premature ejaculation support group? He didn't want to go off half cocked."