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Joke of the Day
"What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam"
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"My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them. Personally I think he torques out of his arse..."
"My wife told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. I stuck it in her 3 times and punched her arm."
"What do you call a psychic who is neither elated or depressed A happy medium"
"What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does."
"Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock."
"Autocorrect changed 'get a life' to 'get a wife' and now my daughter is a lesbian."
"Do you know what i did the first time i got a boner? Went outside. I didn't know how big it would get."
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people."
"thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried..."