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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show? A wok-through."

"Fantasy football is great, you can just imagine whatever you want. Dracula just tackled Harry Potter."

"I hate when people tell me to have a safe flight. Like I have a choice. It's either back home, or in a swamp. I'll try really hard to live."

"Can you taste the difference betwen creme brulee and a yeast infection? If you can't, then never piss off the hostess in your favorite French restaurant ..."

"I asked the offspring how to make BBQ taste better Gotta keep em marinated. ...I'll just leave now."

"How do you make 5 pounds of ugly fat really attractive? Put a nipple on it!"

"What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !"

"What country does fried fish swim in? Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)"

"I use the phrase ""when I win the lottery"" a lot for someone who never buys any lottery tickets."

"Did you know you can tell whether an ant is male or female easily? Just drop it into water, if it sinks it's a girl ant. But if it floats it's a buoyant!"