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Joke of the Day

"I was bullied in high school by the X men. No, not the group of crime fighting mutants, but a bunch of transgender females who were better at sports than I was."

"I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill."

"The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off That's either good or terrible"

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves. Whipped"

"[META] Ever since the sub returned, it's become a hive of circlejerking, reposts, and bad quality. I'm so happy things were able to stay the same."

"What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower? You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you."

"How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship."

"What do you call someone who talks to others in public restrooms? A urinarrator."

"When Kelis sang about her milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard... ...do you suppose she was referring to her dairy-ere?"

"How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and another to stand around and say 'FABULOUS!'"