153242

Joke of the Day

"Fantasy football is great, you can just imagine whatever you want. Dracula just tackled Harry Potter."

"When a girl says: ""If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best""... What she really means is: ""I'm a f*ckin psycho."""

"Why did a pile of gravel go to jail? aggregated basalt"

"The man who invented the dildo sadly passed away. His funeral went just as expected. Only women came."

"I wanted to see how fast I could drive my new car down Main Street. I managed to hit 60 before getting pulled over. Most of them survived with only minor injuries."

"Happy fathers day... ... you motherfucker"

"Now that it's 2017, to be accepting, I no longer see gender or age.... especially after my trip to Thailand"

"Why do plants hate math? ... Because it gives them square roots"

"School in US would be 10 times easier if we use metric system, 12 times harder if we don't."

"Twilight is the literary World War I: you thought this was as bad as it could get, but then WWII/Fifty Shades happened."