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Joke of the Day

"Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?"

"honey, i think the milk's gone bad ""i only bought it yesterday"" yeah well, look at this.. *milk is running a meth lab in the fridge*"

"My cousin found his dad's Viagra, took a handful of the pills, and is now in the hospital... ...with third-degree burns on both of his hands."

"Can bees fly in the rain ? Not without their little yellow jackets !"

"""Babe, is it in?"" *""Yea.""* **""Does it hurt?""** *""Uh huh.""* **""Let me put it in slowly.""** *""It still hurts.""* **""Okay, let's try another shoe size.""**"

"I love Americans. You guys have the best serial killers."

"Why was the female bank teller angry? She was going through the change..."

"*throws a grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend* *Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it* *it explodes and both of them die*"

"A few disenfranchised primates got together to start a revolution.. ..they called it 'Gorilla Radio'.."

"So after how many speeding tickets am I qualified to be an honorary race car driver?"