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Joke of the Day
"If you don't pay your exorcist... You may get repossessed."
Next Joke
"My boss keeps asking me to cut my hair. I keep telling him it is part of my religion I worship the Metal Gods. Edit: TL;DR 666"
"Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*"
"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."
"Poor Sally (2 parter) Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... **quickly followed by** Knock Knock *Who's there?* Not Sally."
"What's the best thing about finger blasting a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free"
"""Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine."" (someone watching soccer for the first time)"
"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."
"[beach] [a foot washes up] [next, a boot] [I combine them] [more parts arrive] [I keep building] [I stand back] ME: Oh no..you?! HITLER: Yep"
"Why did the Vietnamese woman get a career as a prostitute? Because she likes Dongs."