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Joke of the Day

"[beach] [a foot washes up] [next, a boot] [I combine them] [more parts arrive] [I keep building] [I stand back] ME: Oh no..you?! HITLER: Yep"

"A month before my grandfather died we decided to cover his back in lard. After that he went downhill very quickly."

"My wife's resting in the garden. Well, at rest."

"GOD: I call this Tupperware SATAN: remember when I let u crash at my place and u said u owed me one G: yes S: make the lid a little smaller"

"What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt."

"Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem"

"Everyone's dad turns down the radio when he misses a turn or gets lost like it was Tom Petty's fault or something."

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews found the same penny."

"My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident. Her nipples were pierced."

"What's the difference between a bucket of sand and period blood? I can't gargle a bucket of sand."