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Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to the doctor and is given a prescription. ""Do I take this with anything?"" ""Yeah, your face."""

"I think the girl I just met may be a goddess... because even though she's never talked to me, later tonight billions will be massacred by my hand in her name."

"Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring."

"What did the apple say to the pear? [Man, go] away!"

"Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares."

"Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights."

"*Removes smoke detector battery **Cooks in silence"

"If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a really creepy, sexually frustrated toddler."

"#MyHomelessSignWouldSay Obama aint the only one who wants change"

"Two guys were playing a game.... Guy 1 says ""Game"" Guy 2 lost the game You're guy 2 You lost the game"