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Joke of the Day

"My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day... ...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough."

"Clinton Campaign Hillary's Clinton's response to allegations of receiving money from foreign governments to fund her campaign: ""I did NOT have financial relations with those countries!"""

"I like making silly faces in group photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose"

"You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she organizes body parts in her freezer"

"Picnic Tables What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table? A picnic table can support a family of 4."

"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"

"How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man? They use a machine gun."

"I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said "" To inspire and then expire"""

"""WHERE ARE ALL MY PITCHES AT!?!?!?!?"" -upset marketing executive"

"My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for ""We Will Rock You."""