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Joke of the Day

"How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man? They use a machine gun."

"I have a phobia of circles and working But no worries I'm working around it"

"How do boats apologise? S**oar**ry!"

"I get high before I get my Drivers License pic taken. That way I look normal if I'm pulled over."

"What should you do when you meet a beautiful woman with sparkling eyes, wet lips, pink cheeks, shivering body.... Keep going! She has flu symptoms!"

"You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma"

"Physics 101: Heat expands objects.. You're fat.. you're hot"

"Thanks for reminding me to ""have a safe trip."" I was going to roll down a cliff and let the river float me to my destination. Close call."

"Monster: Doctor doctor I'm a blood-sucking monster and I keep needing to eat doctors. Doctor: Oh what a shame. I'm a dentist."

"What kind of educational background do you need to have to work at the gas station that directs teens to their deaths in a horror movie?"