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Joke of the Day

"Two chemists are at a bar. One says, ""I'd like some water."" The other says ""I'd like some Hydrogen Peroxide."" The second one died. Of cancer, many years later."

"What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping? Lazy bones."

"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."

"How much money do gay bars make? A buttload."

"I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet. I had to do hand stands in the shower."

"Coroner's Report Coroner: Report complete. Police: What was the cause of death? Coroner: The cause of death was that I sliced him open and performed an autopsy."

"Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine."

"What do you call a terrorist with eight legs? An Iraqnid."

"The bar (Dad joke) First guy walks into a bar. Second guy walks into the same bar. Third guy ducks."

"How do they say ""fuck you"" in Los Angeles? ""Trust me."""