45956

Joke of the Day

"I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet. I had to do hand stands in the shower."

"I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert."

"How does a **real** man know when a woman is having an orgasm? Who gives a fuck?"

"What did one crab say to the other? ""Damn this bitch is nasty!"""

"What's the difference... between a girls mouth and a girls vagina? There is none! I want my penis to be inside both of these things."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it... A hipster bought the soundtrack."

"Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan."

"Second chances: When it just didn't hurt enough the first time."

"Why was 9 afraid of 10? Because 10 11 12."

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"