58630

Joke of the Day

"If Bruce Wayne was Jewish, would he have had a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah?"

"I was gonna cut my hair, but I kind of like it, It's growing on me."

"There are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for people Push and pull"

"If you ever Google ""Grandfather Clock"", be careful how you spell that shit."

"[house hunting] Loved that one. Great price & the owner seemed trustworthy HER: It was next to a sewage plant & he had three eyepatches on"

"Toast at a Wedding ""May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."" That's an Irish toast. ""Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup."" That's a French toast."

"I've been seeing a lot of commercials for lawsuits concerning metal on metal hip implants. I'm going back in time and getting a hipster implant, before metal was cool."

"Some people were offended by Trump's remark that Hillary Clinton was ""schlonged"" by Obama during the 2008 Democratic primary! No this is the Donald's normal everyday shtump speech!"

"how do you wake lady gaga up? poke her face"

"What body part is most sensitive to a man while he is masturbating? His ears."