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Joke of the Day

"What did the jealous prostitute say at the orgy? Don't blow this for me."

"What does R. Kelly tell little girls on Halloween? Urine for a treat!"

"My mood ring was recently stolen. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no fucking money in there."

"Snakes are terrifying because they can't trip and fall over shit. No creature should possess such power."

"You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart."

"Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth. Fang queue."

"You don't sweat much for a fat chick."

"I got in a fight with Dwayne Johnson. As I threw the first punch, he turned around on the spot. And that, that is when I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"What do you call a heard of masturbating cows? ....Beef stroganoff"