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Joke of the Day

"The contestants on Jeopardy are always asking the stupidest questions. ""What is bronze?"" Read a book, you dummies."

"Wait, so pooping on the entire rim of a toilet, closing the seat over it, and calling it a ""Devil's Oreo"" ISN'T a thing?"

"[Giraffes at gym] ""What do you want to work on today?"" Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. ""So...neck day again"" You bet"

"Why do gay men hate Jesus? It took him three days to rise again."

"There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over."

"Why can't you fool aborted babies? Because they weren't born yesterday."

"A penis walked into a private club. Thank God he was a member."

"Taught a parrot to repeatedly say ""WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?"" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool."

"Why was Lara Croft sad? Because her career was in ruins"

"I call my dick hard times.. Cuz birches always be falling on it"