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Joke of the Day

"The contestants on Jeopardy are always asking the stupidest questions. ""What is bronze?"" Read a book, you dummies."

"Apparently SeaWorld CEO has declared an end to kissing and dancing for its performing Orcas... Now those whales will know how I felt at my high school prom!"

"My gal pal: ""Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!"" Me: ""Poverty."""

"Is it solipsistic in here? Or is it just me?"

"I just lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire. I only have Ash now."

"a powerful ancient bully emerged from a lake and told some girls i didnt know how to jack off til i was 16 & used a really unorthodox style"

"My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie"

"What do you get when you put semen in a bat? Abasement."

"Make fun of my footy pajamas if you must, but all you naked sleepers are gonna be up shit creek if your house catches on fire in the night."

"Why was the criminal's argumentative essay so good? He had some outstanding warrants."